"Dude, you're on a ribs binge"

Actually,  it's only the second time I've eaten ribs in the last two weeks. But that is a lot more than usual. So I take Jill's point.

I AM a Cronut Fan

ADVENTURE: Cronuts!

THE LINE: I got up at 6:00 AM to go stand in line to get one of these. Not many things in life can inspire that kind of one-morning, one-day commitment from me. Luckily I was going with this guy:

Jonas is tired but excited to taste the sublime.

He got in line about ten minutes before me, and so our Cronut victory was assured. A Cronut is a delicious, much-feted dessert designed by chef Dominique Ansel, for those of you who don’t know-- which, I don’t know who you are or where you’ve been living the past year or so while New York has been losing its shiz over these, but apparently you exist because a woman passed our line and was totally confused when we explained we were waiting for cronuts, which are a pastry, that is a combination of a donut and a croissant. Actually her exact words were, “Really?” And not in an impressed way. Jonas and I and all our fellow linegoers were like, “How out of the loop is she?” but I think secretly we all felt a little embarrassed, because, well, it is kind of ridiculous to wake up at the crack of dawn on a rainy day to stand in line for a pastry.

Unless you have a lot of spare time, like moi at the moment, and the pastry is as delicious as this one.

We got there at about 7:20 and 7:30, respectively, and waited until about 8:45 to actually get into the bakery. All in all, not bad, and we had each other’s pleasant conversation to while away the time. This sign also provided some entertainment:

THE DESSERT BAR: As I ordered the Cronuts (2, of course, the maximum each patron is allowed), I felt a little thrill. It was actually happening to me! I had once scoffed at the idea of the Cronut, thinking I would never have time to stand in the weekend’s 3 hour long line to get one, and what was the big deal, anyway? But now that I was actually going to taste NEW YORK’S MOST FAMOUS DESSERT, it felt like I was a part of something. Something exciting and delicious and wonderful. It deserves mentioning that everything in the bakery looked delicious. Look at this:

Yummm.

THE CRONUT ITSELF: REALLLLY YUMMY. LOOK AT THIS THING:

This month’s flavor is Strawberry Balsamic and Mascarpone. So, the filling was a strawberry jam that was really perfectly sweet and tart and mascarpone. Sooooo. so. YUM.

Jonas' feeling was that the Cronut did not quite live up to its hype, however, and he preferred the DKAs, which unfortunately I do not have a picture of but are described thusly on the bakery's website: Tender, flaky, croissant-like dough with a caramelized crunchy crust.

So, yeah. Those were also heavenly. (Although I prefer the Cronut. But hey, differences are what make us American. Or, at least, not Sparta.)

Later I solidified Jill’s eternal friendship and undying loyalty by bringing her my second Cronut.

She owes me her firstborn child now. Yay friendship!

She concurred that it was the best thing since sliced bread and also approximately 1000x better than sliced bread. So.

CONCLUSION: Cronuts. Worth it.

It's The DIANA. Obviously

I went back to the old alma mater’s alumnae affairs office*, and also set up a meeting with a career counselor. I have things to discuss with her. I also hung out in and around the Vagelos Diana Center. The Vag, hehehe. Gah, it still gets me that the top donor for the center has the first three letters in common with that essentially female part the you-know-who-ha a woman’s secret vagina. It just makes me love Barnard that much more.

Here’s my shiny new Alumna ID.

I also sat on the law next to the Diana and read/worked/made some calls for a bit. It’s lovely there!

*Say that eight times fast. Why eight? Because octopuses. Obviously.

My Kind of Lady(s) (and Gent)

NEW ADVENTURE: Courtney Barnett Concert. The Bowery Ballroom. Ice Cream Sandwiches.

NOTABLES: Marisa is a bold woman. Look at her down there in the front of the crowd, waving saucily.

Quote (paraphrased) from Marisa: "The trick is all in the innocent side-step shuffle." See what I mean? Saucy.

Ben and I were feeling old and tired, so we sat up on the balcony and watched and danced a bit, as we do, from there. We all developed a crush on Courtney Barnett, because she’s awesome, and so adorable on stage. She has this perfect Australian brogue. I know brogues are usually Scottish, but I swear, this is an Australian one, and it’s adorable.

Also, her music rocks. Check it out.

She does that talking-that-is-musical-poetry thing, and she does it well. It’s rather nostalgic for me, but I’m not sure why.

FOOD OF THE DAY:

These bad boys:

Melt has some pretty delectable ice cream sandwich combos. Here’s Ben double-fisting two of them, he’s that excited about the flavors.

Did you SEE that header?

THING I’D NEVER DONE BEFORE: Watched the first U.S. match of the World Cup at Mr. Dennehy’s. Went to Peruvian restaurant Panca, which I’ve been wanting to try for a while. Got gelato at a small West Village gelateria. Celebrated Paul’s promotion!

MOST NOTABLE THING ABOUT EXPERIENCE: The U.S. wins! John Anthony Brooks headed a goal in from a corner kick in the last ten minutes of the game for a win 2-1 against Ghana. So fun to be in a bar full of people cheering for the U.S. when that happened. I don't know about the rest of the U.S., but New York is into the World Cup, I assure you.

OTHER THINGS OF NOTE: Really good ceviche at Panca. Back to the Blind Tiger, Phil came out after all, Cassidy was awesome, Izzy was there first and then Irish exited on us all.

And, for the record, Izzy knows a TON about soccer. Just a ton. I cannot emphasize that enough.

Certain Specific Obligations in the Sun

THING I’D NEVER DONE BEFORE: Practice with Revolution in Astoria Park. Watch soccer game at Mojave. Ride the express version of the M60.

MOST NOTABLE THINGS ABOUT EXPERIENCE: Again, it was just really nice to be outside in a pretty part of Queens, playing in the sun.

OTHER THINGS OF NOTE: I’m glad Izzy was there to tell me about the new system the MTA has for these express buses. Even if you have an unlimited Metrocard, you have to put into the machine at the stop and get a receipt saying so. Otherwise, they can fine you up to $300! Which would suck.

Also, ordered in from Hummus Place and watched Ever After with my roommate and her sister. Sigh. What a classic.

I Could Be the Fearless Leader

THING I’D NEVER DONE BEFORE: Barcade in Manahattan with Jill.

Also, eating at Fonda, wandering in Prospect Park with Sam and Marisa and morning coffee, observing the pride runners, musing on our respective roles in the Zombie Apocalypse, watching the World Cup with ultimate friends

MOST NOTABLE THING ABOUT EXPERIENCE: The Manhattan Barcade actually has a lot of space, which I was not expecting, and a similarly wide selection of interesting beers and microbrews. We also met a gay man who loved Jill and kept reiterating how much he loved her, which was gratifying for all of us, I think.

OTHER THINGS OF NOTE: This was a great day. I want to say something again about serendipity and synchronicity, and try, somehow, to avoid making it cheesy. Maybe a future post.

Drinks for Old Friends and Ear Rubs for New Ones

THING I’D NEVER DONE BEFORE: Gone to Windsor Terrace in Brooklyn, and Marisa’s apartment for laaadies’ night with Marisa, Heather and Sam

MOST NOTABLE THING ABOUT THE EXPERIENCE: Good people, good food, good drinks – if that isn’t the best, what is?

OTHER THINGS OF NOTE: Marisa had a recipe for this amazing chickpea and cauliflower thing, and it turns out it came from GOOP, so *maybe* I will have to stop judging Gwyneth Paltrow quite so hard now. Maybe. Marisa has gotten into Inside Amy Schumer, too, now and we finished the night off with a few episodes of that, and then, because Sam and I were sleepy and slightly intoxicated and far from home, we had an adult sleepover. Which mostly just consisted of us all going to sleep.

 DOG OF THE DAY: Today in the park I saw a dogwalker walking a pack of seven chihuahas and then one regular sized dog named Bailey. I know her name, because I was staring at her, wondering if she felt left out of the chihuaha pack (they were all on one side of the dogwalker and she was on the other), and she turned around and saw me, wagged her tail, and then, after the dogwalker introduced us, came and pressed her face against my thigh and let me rub her ears for a bit. Bailey, it turns out, is not that concerned with chihuahas. She’s more into squirrels, and ear rubs.

The Universe is Kind and Mountains Made of Beef Jerky

THING I’D NEVER DONE BEFORE: Bought a copy of the New York Times from one of the newsstands

OTHER THINGS OF NOTE: I was not feeling great this day. Not sure why. Just felt a bit under the weather. So, I kind of took it easy, and then walked down to Columbus Circle in the afternoon. While I was there, I saw a huge Mount Rushmore made out of beef jerky.

Although, upon reflection, it's not really huge compared to the ACTUAL Mt. Rushmore. Really pretty tiny, compared to that. Beef jerky, I am not impressed.

As I was walking back, I realized I hadn’t eaten anything since my morning yogurt, and I got a piece of spinach pizza from Freddie and Pepper’s, which has great New York style pizza. I was planning to sit there and work on my crossword, but all of the seats in the small basement restaurant were taken, so I just went around the corner and started walking toward the park. My hunger and tiredness got the best of me, though, and I sat down on the steps of one of the brownstones and began to eat, hoping none of the residents would enter or leave while I sat there. It proved to be a tense experience, and, in fact, one resident did come up out of the building and gave me an awkward once-over and half-smile, at which point I decided to finish the rest of the pizza on the move.

Then, I went for a run and was starting to feel better when I got a call from an unknown number. I answered suspiciously. A man introduced himself and asked me if I’d lost my wallet. I was about to say no, and then I looked down at my backpack. Was it possible my wallet had fallen out of it, or I’d left it somewhere? I searched through it, but it wasn’t there.

Me: “Wow, I guess I did lose my wallet. I didn’t even realize it was gone!” Him: “Yes, I know, because I’ve been trying to get in touch with you for the past few hours. I didn’t know who to contact, because I didn’t see a business card in there. I ended up calling your mother, from your license, and she said she wasn’t surprised. She gave me your number.” Me: *inarticulate noise*

My license, you see, is still a Florida license. So, it has my parents’ address on it. To the fact that this man and my mother had conferred over the loss of my wallet as one would over a wayward child, I did not know how to respond. However, I was extremely grateful he had found it and sought me out to return it. We arranged a meeting and I got it back. I offered him baked goods and he refused, saying a good deed ought to be done for a good deed’s sake. And all’s well that ends well.

CHEESY THING: I couldn’t help but reflect on the kindness of the universe, and the goodness that can be found in our fellow human. And feel grateful to be a part of it. And also grateful to have my wallet back. Thanks, Universe, and Oury Marciano, who is a very honest broker, if you are looking for one.

A Suit Made Out of Cookies

THING I’D NEVER DONE BEFORE: Amateur Night at the Apollo with Heather, and eating at Sylvia’s beforehand

MOST NOTABLE THING ABOUT THE EXPERIENCE: The Apollo was honoring a band of brothers, and two of the brothers showed up to receive their award. That was pretty cool. Here's a picture of them.

Except I can't remember the band name now, so maybe it wasn't the most cool part, but I'm behind, so moving on.*

MOST DELICIOUS THING I ATE: Everything at Sylvia’s: Ribs, cornbread, collard greens, mac and cheese. God, I love Southern food.

BEST PERFORMER: Heather and I both agree the little girl who won the children’s part of the performance was pretty awesome.

OTHER THINGS OF NOTE:

I’m pretty sure I saw the actor from Broad City walking around in a suit made of cookies. SOMEONE was walking around in a suit made of cookies:

I really hope it was him, and it was for the new season of the show. I <3 Broad City. *Why do I have the memory of a goldfish? :(

Hanging out in Harlem with this awesome lady

Touch a Tree Today

THING I’D NEVER DONE BEFORE: Visited Forest Hills, Queens and volunteered helping special needs kids at a horse farm there

MOST NOTABLE THING ABOUT EXPERIENCE: Forest Hills, Queens is actually incredibly beautiful. It felt like my grandparents’ old neighborhood in St. Louis to me. By which, I mean, suburban in a very calm, woodsy sort of way, with big, beautiful houses and quaint street signs.

It was also great to see how much the kids (most of whom were on the autism spectrum) loved riding the horses and came alive during the class, especially when they got to trot the horses. Without fail, the faces of all the kids, including the non-verbal ones, just lit up when the time came for them to trot around the ring on the horses.

BEST NEW FRIEND: This is a tie between Popcorn the horse, and Meryl, her trainer, who was a pretty cool lady.

BEST TREE: This one.

On Monday night, Sarah and I were talking on the phone, as we do, and the subject turned to our fear of our own mortality and wasting our lives, as it sometimes does, and Sarah said:

“Sometimes I get caught up in the details. And then I think about how I’m going to die someday. And it just makes me want to touch things.

You know that rubber thing on the escalator? Today, I just reached out and touched it and was like, I’m alive.” She also said, “I just think about death and how it’s nothingness. Being alive means so much; it means you can smell, you can taste and touch.”

Sarah also said, “DON’T TELL ME HOW TO FEEL MY FEELINGS!” But that was about an entirely different thing, and not directed at me. Anyway, I felt inspired by her wisdom, and I saw this tree, and I thought, I need to touch that. And I did. And I remembered I was alive.

OTHER THINGS OF NOTE:

I finished my book and ate a stuffed boureka (soo good) at Aroma Espresso, ran in Central Park and saw these goslings,

and SOMEHOW GOT LOST AND ENDED UP ON THE EAST SIDE OF MANHATTAN INSTEAD OF THE WEST SIDE EVEN THOUGH I WAS PRETTY SURE I WAS JUST RUNNING IN A STRAIGHT LINE NORTH. I thought I was exiting to Central Park West, saw the sign for 5th Avenue, and was just like, What?? The sad thing is, this is not the first, nor will it be the last, when Central Park will totally confuse me on what seems like it should be a routine trip. At first, I was angry, and I was grumbling to myself as I sprinted back across the park, but then, I just had to shake my head and laugh. Central Park, you still get me*. And you always will.

*In like, the aggressive, pranking sense, not the sense of understanding. Although, sometimes I feel like we’re friends, too. Right, Central Park? Right??

A ROOFTOP HOT-TUB MOVIE BAR

THING I’D NEVER DONE BEFORE: Went to Trader Joe’s on a morning weekday.

MOST NOTABLE THING ABOUT EXPERIENCE: How freaking empty the store was. HEAVENLY. There were still two long lines, but they only extended to the vegetable section and took about 5 minutes instead of the usual 15-20.

MOST INTERESTING CONVERSATION:

This one’s a tie.

First, I had a long conversation with the check-out guy at Trader Joe’s who told me about all the free events happening in the city this summer. He also asked me about my weekend and acted impressed by the uniqueness of my answer that I’d gone to a professional ultimate Frisbee game on Coney Island, but then when I asked him about his weekend, it turned out he had gone to a ROOFTOP HOT-TUB MOVIE BAR over the weekend. Yes, that’s right. He and his friends watched a movie, from a hot tub, on a rooftop, with a bar, while around them other people did the same in their hot tubs. This happened, of course, in Brooklyn.

I also had Heather over for dinner. Heather is leaving the city soon, too, and she was telling me about how suddenly everything about the city seems amazing and awesome and it’s so bittersweet to leave, and I was like, ME, TOO!!! It was such a relief to be able to talk to someone who is also experiencing LNYS* and feeling all this pressure to make the most of this city which you can never really experience all of. I also cooked us kale chips and peanut thai tofu and we booked ourselves a room in a windmill to stay in while we visit Amsterdam in July. Best. Decision. Ever.

A Deed a Day

One of my goals for this summer is to do something in the city I've never done before every day and write about it. Since I got back to the city on Saturday, I've been DOING the things, but not writing about them, partially because I have been focusing a lot on the platform/design of the blog and prioritizing that over the actual posting. Today, I'm say f&*% it. I'll figure that stuff out later.

Since I'm already in the position of playing catch up, I'm going to do abbreviated posts re: Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. What's already kind of amazing to me is how full the days are and how quickly they are passing despite my relative freedom. Which is not to say they are not also sometimes lonely and terrifying and overwhelming in how much unstructured time I have. There's definitely some of that. I am lucky in that I have a ton of stuff I both need and want to do this summer, though, and so far, it's keeping me pretty busy. It's also, no lie, pretty great not to be locked in an office on beautiful summer days (even the rainy ones).

Saturday-Sunday

On Saturday, I went to Coney Island to watch a professional ultimate frisbee game. I have not done these things separately before, but never together. And let me tell you, together is better. There is a soft spot in my heart for Coney Island. That place is all New York. Also, I once had a pretty wonderful Fourth of July there.

I also have a soft spot in my heart (is that the correct phrase? it seems weird, now that I've said it twice) for professional ultimate. It was a great game. New York Empire beat the Montreal Royals 24-6.

Afterward I got to play spikeball on the beach with some pretty awesome people. I also went for a nighttime dip in the water, because a beach visit feels incomplete to me without a swim in the water. It was cold, but it felt meditative and refreshing under the moonlight.

Then, to the bar, where I changed into a dry bra and tank top. Dancing, drinking, all the good stuff. Hung out with my friend #9 a bit. Curled up with my Kindle and fell asleep on the train ride home, which made the hour and a half journey breeze by.

Sunday was a quiet day, in the grand tradition of Sundays. Not gonna lie, I was freaking out a little about the long week of freedom ahead. That may sound weird. But, trust me, sometimes freedom is just as scary as drudgery. Or maybe more scary. But less depressing. Definitely less depressing.

So, anyway, I walked in the summer sunshine down to Bouchon Bakery to get a croissant. I have heard the almond croissants are amazing. I got a chocolate almond croissant, which was good but not amazing. Clearly, I have to go back to get the almond croissant. For science.

Then, I read at Lincoln Center triangle, walked back, bought plants, ran in Central Park, and watched the Tonies with Jill. I watched them all the way through. They were actually pretty entertaining. But let's be honest. I would watch Hugh Jackman do anything. Even hop for four hours. Which I was worried might actually happen based on this opener:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRO-pNXUTKw

Aaand that's the weekend!

Running Home

On the flight back to New York, I was seated behind the mother and sister of a former teenage nemesis. We exchanged pleasantries, and I honestly wished all of them well. I felt a calmness settle on me along with excitement to be returning to the city. It was as if my apprehensions were not banished, but were now running out in front of me, harnessed. For weeks I thought it was the idea of returning to New York that was making me anxious, but on the way back, I started to think maybe it was the not being there that was making me anxious.

I thought, I am returning to the woman I am in New York. I realized that I love that woman, and I don't want to lose her when I move to Chicago. That may sound dramatic, but I feel like every time I make a really big change in my life, a small death occurs (and not the good, French kind ;)). The person who emerges is necessarily built out of the old one, but she's not quite the same. She can't be.

While I was home, I went back and excavated some of my old journals from storage. I felt like I could handle the embarrassment of looking at raw teenage me. Teenage me was, as I remembered, kind of embarrassing and confused and naive and really, really angry. But she was also brave and strong and funny and thoughtful. I'm still her, reborn though I have been and will be, over and over again. I'm also different in good ways - I like to think I've gotten too wise to collect enemies anymore. And I am not nearly as angry, ha!

We all have to do this in life. Trying to hold onto one static identity forever is a) impossible and b) would leave no room for growth. I don’t think I can summarize it better than this brilliant scene from that American classic Bridesmaids:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7L2sVq4bzQ

Let’s pause for a moment to appreciate the brilliantly understated comic tension of this scene.

Done? Okay.

Not to sell out my girl Kristen Wiig, but I think they’re both right. We may not get to choose what stays and what goes away, as Florence + the Machine once spaketh*, but a little faith in the permanence of character and love helps a lot in overcoming the fear of changing. That’s the other thing. We get to keep the people we love, and they keep us, and remind us of who we are even when we might forget, and let us become who we need to, all the while loving each iteration. Or at least the really good ones do. Thank God for them. And thank God for New York. Running home to you is the best feeling in the world.

*THAT IS A WORD. DON’T QUESTION IT.

Beginning

I’ve lived in this beautiful, trash-laden, and frighteningly full city for eight years, but now I’m moving out. I have one last summer here before I move to Chicago for law school. Getting ready to leave New York is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, and I hear I’m not the only one. The Leaving New York Syndrome is known to cause freak-outs, premature sadness, and a burning desire to pay homage to the amazing, bleeding mess that the city is and what it has been to you. So, that’s what I’m going to do. The last one. Pay homage, and write about my final adventures here. Because that’s basically all I’ve wanted to do since I was a kid – have adventures. Or at least write about them.

New York City summer, you beautiful beast, here I come.